


Fxxk My Ex

by sweetkpopfan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Crack, Drinking & Talking, M/M, Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkpopfan/pseuds/sweetkpopfan
Summary: Yuta just wants to have a peaceful life and impress his extremely hot boss, but when his two biggest “free-loading” customers Doyoung and Jaehyun turn up at the bar, crying over broken hearts and cheating exes, he knows he is screwed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i was semi-inspired by Big Bang's Fxxk It MV and also a prompt I saw on Tumblr (which I cannot find again TT) I tried to make it funny so I hope you guys like it!

                Yuta loves his job. It’s not every day a young man like him from Japan, with limited experience and an even smaller wallet gets hired as a bartender in one of Seoul’s most popular bars. His boss, a tall handsome man by the name of Ji Hansol, has always been so nice to him and incredibly patient when Yuta explains the balance on his tab. Customers do keep drinks on their tabs quite often so Hansol doesn’t mind that too much, even if Yuta’s tab is almost 1000 USD. Yuta knows that he is lucky to have such a wonderful boss, so all he really wants to do is impress him and not screw up.

                However, Jung Jaehyun, one of the biggest moochers (preferably called ‘late-payers’, but Yuta really doesn’t give a fuck) on Yuta’s tab has already downed his 6th shot of whisky and from the looks of it he has no intention of paying it tonight. He’s also looking a _wee_ bit tipsy.

                “Jaehyun, stop.” Yuta sighed. “Do you want to talk about it?” Yuta has found that his job includes more than just mixing drinks. He was also a part time counsellor and yell-doll for any frustration his customers were facing.

                “As if talking would make the pain go away.” Jaehyun scoffed. His eyes were glassy and his nose was red, obviously, he had been crying for a while. Yuta shook his head. Jung Jaehyun was a successful model. Rich, young, famous. He could have the women of South Korea fall on their knees and beg to even have a picture with him if he wanted (which did happen when one of Jaehyun’s crazy fans stalked him all the way to the bar). Yet here he is, looking for comfort at the bottom of a shot glass and whining about how his life sucked balls.

                “Jaehyun, if you get drunk the tabloids will find out.” Yuta said.

                “Who cares?” Jaehyun waved his arm, and Yuta was terrified he would knock down one of the bottles in front of him. “My life is over.”

                “How is your life over?” Yuta sighed. This is the tenth time that week Jaehyun has walked into the bar crying about his life being over and he could just roll over and die.

                “You know my manager Lee Taeyong?”

                “The one you have an insane, ridiculous crush on ever since you two were kindergarten buddies and you went through your awkward high school phase with big glasses, freckles and weighed almost 90 kilos?” Yuta smirked. He knew the story well.

                “Yeah,” Jaehyun gulped. “It turns out he was in love with someone else all this time. He was in love with Moon Taeil. Moon Taeil!!! The guy who manages FINANCE back at the company! The nerd with Harry Potter glasses and eats alone in the cafeteria!”

                “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Yuta tried not to sound sarcastic.

                “Can you believe it? He dumped me for a nerd. A fucking numbers nerd.”

                “He did not dump you. Technically you guys were never together.”

                “I worked so hard to impress Taeyong. I went to the gym, bought him flowers, a car, a trip to Paris…”

                “You bought him a what?!” Yuta stared at him.

                “It doesn’t matter because it all didn’t work! He refused to go out with me and said that we should be ‘just friends’.”

                “You bought him a car?! What brand?!”

                “Mercedes but that’s not the point!” Jaehyun waved his hands before plopping them down on the table. “He turned me down. Me. Jung Jaehyun. The hottest model in Seoul. He turned ME down. I am his best friend since we were in high school!”

                “You don’t get to decide who he falls in love with just because you are hot and handsome, and being best friends with him does not give you the fast card to his heart.” Yuta rolled his eyes.

                “We even went to prom together! We promised each other we would be together forever!” Jaehyun wagged his finger. He took his 7th shot of alcohol, feeling the burn down his throat and the warmth of the drink seeping into his belly. “Bring me another shot.”

                “Look, Jae…” Yuta sighed. “Would you mind paying off your tab first before I give you another shot? It’s not like you are poor or anything, especially if you could afford to buy your crush a car.”

                “Didn’t bring my wallet.”

                “This is your excuse?” Yuta groaned. “Why don’t you just leave your credit card here permanently and I can charge from it anytime I want?”

                “You know what, that’s a good idea.”

                “Jesus I was just kidding. I can’t do that, that’s stealing.”

                “So what does it matter? All the money in the world won’t heal my broken heart. I am…” Jaehyun sniffled a little and Yuta prayed _oh dear please no don’t do this._ “I am nothing without him!!” Jaehyun burst out and proceeded to bump his head against the table, sobs pouring out from his mouth.

                Yuta massaged his temples and sighed heavily. He knew Jaehyun wasn’t crying, he was just whining and making noises like a baby. He patted Jaehyun’s back unenthusiastically. “There, there.”

                “You’re slipping Yuta.” Jaehyun lifted his head. “You used to be better at comforting people.”

                “And you used to be better at paying me.”

                “What are you so worried about? All you have to do is smile at your boss and he’ll forget about the tab.”

                “No, he will…oh shit.” Yuta grimaced when he heard the door open a very familiar footstep marched into the bar. A hand slammed down against the bar counter.

                “Give me everything you have and make it a double.”

                “Oh god.” Yuta murmured to himself. “Another fight with your boyfriend, Doyoung?”

                “Ex-boyfriend.” Doyoung rolled his eyes. “That no good piece of shit.”

                “What did he do?” Jaehyun asked the stranger sitting next to him. He had never seen Doyoung before and he walked in even angrier than he did about some man.

                “He cheated on me! With some American dude named Johnny Seo or Suh or whatever.” Doyoung slammed his hand against the table, picking up the shot of whisky and gulping it down as if it were water.

                “Ouch, I’m sorry to hear that.” Jaehyun grimaced. “How long has he been cheating on you?”

                “For about a month. He said it was an accident the first time around it was the ‘first and last’ but come on now, how many ‘first and last’ can you have _in a month_ with the same guy?”

                “Doyoung, meet Mr-I-Fell-In-Love-with-My-Best-Friend Jung Jaehyun. Jaehyun, meet Mr-My-Ex-Was-A-Thai-Asshole Kim Doyoung.”

                “You’re a model, right?” Doyoung asked as he shook Jaehyun’s hand. “I’ve seen you on magazine covers before.”

                “Yeah, and aren’t you a famous music producer?”

                “He produced all of Ten’s songs.” Yuta poured a shot of vodka mixed with gin for Doyoung.

                “So, you were dating your artist?” Jaehyun asked.

                “Yeah,” Doyoung sighed. “We got along so well you know. Then this American guy came to the studio because he was this new investor from overseas and I told Ten to go and butter the guy up, you know, to get some money.”

                “And?”

                “I said _butter him up_ and not _suck his dick_. And Ten never listens to me.” Doyoung gulped down another shot. “Just what is it that he has and I don’t?!”

                “You want that in alphabetical order or just off the top of my head?” Yuta grinned.

                “Shut the fuck up Yuta and pour me another one.” Doyoung rolled his eyes. “Is it the money? The looks? The car?”

                “Trust me,” Jaehyun scoffed. “No amount of money or cars will save you. I mean look at me. The guy I like fell for a numbers nerd with a pocket protector and he sleeps with his Iron Man action figures.”

                “You mean he dumped you, a six-foot-tall high-fashion model who earns millions of dollars to his name with 6-pack abs and a sports car?”

                “Yeah!”

                “Well then he sucks!”

                “Exactly! And so is your ex!”

                “Amen.” Both men clinked their shot glasses together and took a gulp.

                “Oh god.” Was all Yuta could afford to say. This was going to be a long night.

*********************************

                There are several things people do when they just broke up with somone. Some cry, throw tantrums, drink or burn things. Others do _all_ of them and for Doyoung and Jaehyun, apparently, they also sing. And whose songs do you sing when you just experienced heartache? Answer: Adele.

                “Never mind I’ll find someone like yooooouuuuuuuu, I wish nothing but the best for yoooooouuuuuu twwwooooooo….” Doyoung and Jaehyun crooned, holding onto each other’s shoulders and singing into empty beer bottles like a bunch of drunkards on Mike’s Breakup Karaoke Night. It was late into the night (or very early in the morning) and Yuta really wanted to go home.

                “Guys guys, it’s late, the bar is closing up and you two need to go back home. It’s…”

                “I came in like a wrecking BAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL…” Jaehyun started.

                “Oh fuck.”

                “I never hit so hard in looooooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee…” Doyoung crooned while Jaehyun played air guitar.

                “That’s fine but…”

                “All I wanted was to break your walls, all you ever did was…wreeeeck me, COME ON JAEHYUN” He wrapped both arms around Jaehyun and they sang at the top of their lungs “YEAH YOU WREEEEECK MEEEEEEEEEE…”

                “Okay seriously, either go home or pay your tab. Come on.” Yuta wrenched the beer bottles from their hand. Jaehyun’s face was terribly pink and Doyoung’s eyes kept turning in their sockets.

                “Why can’t you just smile at your boss and do that winky thing with your eye? He’ll let you off.” Jaehyun hiccupped.

                “Yeah but you two spent more money on alcohol tonight than a Russian tourist at an alcohol duty free store. I can’t get my boss to say yes to this tab by just winking at him, I might actually need to sleep with him for this!” Yuta screeched at the frustration of it all.

                “And that’s a bad thing?” Jaehyun raised an eyebrow.

                “Yeah, don’t you have a thing for Hansol?”

                “Wh…what? No!”

                “Are you sure? Because I can tell he has a thing for you.” Doyoung said.

                “He does?” Yuta leaned forward to Doyoung to hear more.

                “Of course he does! What are you, blind? The way he comes up to you, pats you on the back and that smile he gives you.”

                “What smile?”

                “The _you-look-so-cute-and-I-wish-I-could-fuck-you-but-like-not-in-a-creepy-way-but-yeah-you-are-so-cute_ way.” Jaehyun said.

                “What the fuck is that?” Yuta scrunched up his nose in confusion. “He does not look at me that way!”

                “Yes he-oh here he comes, speaking of the devil…” Doyoung said as Hansol walked up to them by the bar. He was dressed in a white button up with his sleeves rolled up, the tight shirt outlining his strong arms and chest muscles and Yuta can’t decide if it was him or the alcohol because he was feeling _very_ hot.

                “Are you two gentlemen having a good time?” Hansol asked politely, flashing them a warm smile, as he always does his customers. Yuta tried hard not to stare at his boss and gape like a fish.

                “Of course, Yuta is always so kind to us.” Jaehyun cooed. “He even let us drink everything from the menu tonight!”

                “He did?” Hansol turned to look at Yuta questioningly.

                “Si…sir…I can explain…”

                “He’s such a warm and welcoming person. You two should totally fuck.” Doyoung slurred.

                “What?!?!!?” Yuta screamed. He clamped his mouth in shock when he realized he just screamed into his boss’s ear. Hansol, however, seemed unfazed, and maybe even a little interested.

                “Did I say fuck? I mean _date_. You two should totally date.” Doyoung laughed. “Don’t they look adorable together?” he slapped Jaehyun’s arm softly.

                “Yeah, perfect height difference and all.” Jaehyun grinned teasingly. “Yuta works so hard to please you and he really is just such a nice guy. I would take him if I were you.”

                Yuta wanted to just scream into oblivion and then wrap his hands around Jaehyun to strangle him. He was wondering what crime did he ever commit to deserve such embarrassment. Doyoung laughed uncontrollably when he saw Yuta drop his jaw and his face turn into a tomato.

                “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” He clutched his stomach and laughed. “I am having such a good time tonight. Fuck my ex-boyfriend and that fucking American dipshit!”

                “Yeah!” Jaehyun and Doyoung clinked glasses for their final shot and drank every drop.

                “You know what, let’s take a selfie and send it to our exes and be like ‘guess who I am going home with’.”

                “Oh my god yes!!” Jaehyun reached for his phone and started to take bad selfies with his shaky hand.

                “Sir, can we please get them out of here?” Yuta whined a little. He just wanted to go home and wallow in embarrassment.

                “I think that’s a good idea.”

***************************

                20 minutes later and 3 drunken verses of Gotye’s Somebody You Used to Know, Hansol and Yuta finally dragged Jaehyun and Doyoung out of the bar and into a cab. Doyoung did not want to go home as Ten was still living there so Jaehyun said they could go back to his place. Hansol paid extra to the cab driver to make sure both of them actually go _into_ the apartment. Yuta waved them goodbye as Hansol locked up the place.

                “It was really nice of you to make sure they get home safe.” Yuta said.

                “Doyoung and I are good friends. We knew each other in college.” Hansol smiled. “It’s sad to see him break up but let’s be honest here he deserved better than Ten.”

                “Is that why you always let him off with his tab?”

                “Yeah, and he pays back anyways so it’s no big deal.” Hansol shrugged.

                “Uhm, sir? About what they said…” Yuta started, clasping his palms tightly and thinking _please don’t fire me._

                “Would you like to go out sometime?”

                “They were just drunk and-what did you say?” Yuta dropped his jaw.

                “I asked if you would like to go out with me.” Hansol smiled. “Apparently two of our best customers think we should date and frankly, the customers are always right.” He winked.

                “I…uh…”

                “But if it’s uncomfortable I understand…”

                “YES!!! I mean,” Yuta composed himself in order not to sound like a lunatic. “I mean I would love to.”

                “Awesome.” Hansol smiled. “Shall I drive you home?”

                “O…okay.” Yuta smiled, walking side by side with Hansol, their fingers slowly hooking each other.

***********************************

                Doyoung woke up with a splitting headache. His whole body hurt like hell and he was in a room that was totally unfamiliar to him. He was alone on the bed and half naked with no shirt. He jerked up instantly and his first thoughts were _oh my god please don’t tell me I did it._

                “Good morning.” Doyoung opened his room door to the sight of a very handsome man in a white sleeveless top and grey slacks cooking in the kitchen. His soft hair was slightly messy but he looked refreshed and totally not hungover. _How in the world…_

                “H…hello…” Doyoung groaned. He remembered the young man as Jung Jaehyun, the guy he got drunk with last night.

                “Painkiller?”

                “Fuck yes.” Doyoung swallowed the pills like his life depended on it.

                “Do you want pancakes or bacon?” Jaehyun asked.

                “Uhm…anything.” Doyoung then realized Jaehyun was making breakfast for both of them. He suddenly grew extremely embarrassed and shy, considering the way he acted the night before. “Thank you for letting me stay over.”

                “No problem. I wanted to thank you too,” he said. “For keeping me company last night.”

                “All I did was just sing really loudly and get drunk.”

                “It’s better to do that together.” Jaehyun laughed. “Did you send that photo to Ten?”

                “Hmm?”

                “Ten? Your ex?”

                “Oh _him_.” Doyoung slapped his forehead lightly. “I don’t know, I guess I did.”

                “I sent mine, and he congratulated me.” Jaehyun laughed. “It’s just like Taeyong to do that.”

                “Are you still not over him?”

                “I don’t know. You?”

                “I don’t know too.”

                Both of them ate their breakfast in silence. Jaehyun looked up to see Doyoung’s hair shining in the sunlight, his pretty eyes fluttering under those long lashes and the cute way his lips twist while he was thinking of something. He was too drunk last night to notice but Doyoung was really good-looking. Something about the way he moves made Jaehyun’s heart thump faster.

                “Listen Doyoung,” Jaehyun said. “I know we both just broke up and are still recovering, but maybe we could hang out together sometime?”

                “Yeah, okay.” Doyoung nodded. “We could just be friends first.”

                “Yeah, and who knows what might happen right?” Jaehyun smiled.

                “Yeah.”

                “Yeah.”

                They looked at each other with little smiles on their faces. They didn’t really think too much when their faces started becoming closer and closer, and all thoughts were out the window as their lips pressed against each other, hands wrapped in each other’s hair and some underneath their clothes.

                Oh well, all relationships start off with _friends_ first anyways.

 

**Author's Note:**

> tbh I also kind of ship Jaeyong and Doten but something always pulls me back to Dojae. Hope you guys like it!


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